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Streetside Surprise

by Party of One

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1.
Next time you're trapped Inside that desolate goldmine I hope you set aside some gold Just for me You're down there prayin' For that first glimpse of sunshine To cut through the rocks And break you all free I'm at the surface With the rescue employees We're playin' cards And we're watchin' TV If we can't reach you And you pass on to Hades I hope you got a sexy widow for me I'm at the surface With the rescue employees We're playin' Twister And we're climbin' a tree If we can't reach you And you pass on to Hades I hope you got a transsexual for me
2.
In flat-soled shoes You still tower above me I'll let you read my thoughts If you let me wear your clothes If you let me slip inside you I'll show you what no one knows Because the more I reveal The more you might be willing To share But by the time I've tried on Half of your outfits I'll already be stripped bare In flat-soled shoes You still tower above me Starts with your ruffle shirt Then onto your pinstriped slacks Then to your Rainbow-colored stockings Right down to your collection of hats For all those things I've concealed I'll even tell you my real name All with the misguided expectation That for me You'll do exactly the same
3.
You better watch out For Madame Mao Ying She's a hapkido warrior Feared by the Ching Don't turn your back On Madame Mao Ying She'll knock you out And turn you upside-down Her taekwondo Is the baddest around Madame Mao Ying Burnin' up this town Trained in the opera From an early age Don't try to compete She'll blow you off the stage (Let the temple bells ring For our blessed Mao Ying) Madame Mao Ying Becoming all the rage Madame Mao Ying Burnin' up this town (And the word gets around) (She'll knock you upside-down)
4.
Most followers of the Islamic faith Are NOT terrorists. Every culture has its Misguided extremists. We have our own right here at home. Bible-thumping Xenophobic hatemongers. This one's for them. Specifically to annoy them. Islamic Jihad Hail Saudi Bin Lad (Great sanctifier with kidneys of fire) Hail Saudi Bin Lad (And Zacharias Moussawi) (And our good friend Zarkawi) Twin candles of God (In the heart of the empire) (One nation under fire) (Quite sick and perverted) (But you probably deserved it) Twin towers of God Islamic Jihad
5.
Ship it out Friday morning So they can cut it up Friday evening And shoot it down Throughout the weekend And flush it out by Monday morning Crash! Kerblam! Kaboom! On Colombian streets Teenage girls in the bedroom A line or two (or three!) To keep it going It's the American dream It's never-ending But here down south It's doom impending Yeah Crash! Kerblam! Kaboom! On Colombian streets Unreinforced concrete buildings Our coffee bean And countless civilians They were all knocked down When the plate shifted We were robbed Of all economic security So we all walk down to the corner Fully equipped with semiautomatics And a big briefcase full of crystal You yanks are keepin' us rich You pathetic bunch of addicts
6.
What should we do about you? I can't share you And I can't watch you Drink yourself blue What should we do about me? You're always let down And insulted by me
7.
Cyanide sister yer outta control Unresolved scars from 8 years ago And years of self-destruction Have taken their toll Mom had a favorite Who she wouldn't say But she raised three kids In twelve different ways If ya had enough sense You woulda run away Twelve-year-old gestapo In the grade-school hall Five hundred kids Tryin' to make ya feel small There ain't nothin' you can do 'Cause they ain't breakin' any laws You got one friend But she ain't got a clue She likes to criticize ya For everything ya do She only thinks she knows ya 'Cause she sticks to ya like glue So ya can't go to school And ya don't wanna stay at home Yer friend's just a twit Don't wanna talk to her on the phone Girl it looks like yer on yer own Took ya to the doctor 'Cause you were insane Locked you up for weeks And erased half yer brain So you were only half the problem But you took all the blame Since they turned you inside-out You've been just fine But it's comin' back to haunt ya Years down the line But ya can't tell yer mom 'Cause she's ignorant and blind She'd say, "it's not my fault You're sad and depraved Your brother and your sister Are so well-behaved When we sent you Through corrections Our family was saved"
8.
9.
Watch while the heads roll Transpiring and unfolding Scream as the steam blows Unleashing all withholdings Chased through the back roads Feel life itself imploding Frostbit in the ice cold All family ties eroding Watch while the heads roll Struck down in the side row Cry out but no one listens Hold it in and swallow It's how we're all conditioned Sit still when the sky falls It's not that consequential Don't cry when the cops call Just keep things confidential Watch while the heads roll Fresh from the dogfight Relaxing in the shadows Out of the limelight Still scarred and bruised from battle Without insight into our limitations Nothing will end right So have no expectations
10.
Ecstasy at the speed of sound No one can take us now So far on a westward breeze So high over sand and sea Do you really wanna fly with me? Catch a ride while you can Do you really wanna try with me? The clouds are at your command Ascendency Through supersonic waves Hopefully we'll attain it someday So high above towers and trees Recapturing what we once could be Do you really wanna fly with me? Doncha think we'll survive? Do you really wanna try with me? Put our contentions aside Do you really wanna fly with me? Ten thousand feet above land Do you really wanna try with me? With me We could be so free Put the skeptics to shame Reconnect and reclaim our domain Let the skeptics complain Reunite and regain our acclaim Put the skeptics to shame Reconnect and reclaim our old fame Drive the skeptics insane Reunite and retain our old flame
11.
Army in red leaves the city in flames This is where we belong But you got to be strong They'll try and screw you Into a pointless game Things have gone wrong But you've got to go on No it's just not gonna be the same Now we've become Pawns in the game Oh! Are you ready to be consumed? Are you prepared to meet your doom Face to face with the army in red? Run while you can There's blood to be shed Navy in blue Leaves the city in flames This is where we belong But you got to be strong Keep to yourself You just might survive But before too long You're gonna go wrong Today the world can be so insane How many days Before they feel its pain? No! You've fallen into one of their traps Get ready for your collapse Witness the rise of the navy in blue Make for the hills They're comin' for you! Yeah! Admirals in green Leave the city in flames Everything's gone The flame rages on If we could undo All that they have achieved We could live on But the superpower is strong Face to face With the admirals in green We won't stand a chance They're gonna wipe us clean! Streetside surprise Ransacks the city in flames! No! (Bomb Ba-bada bomb bomb!)
12.
Sergeant Kay 04:20
You hired me To roll your foot-long cigars And to drive you 'round town In a big shiny white car But I tried on your shoes And I drank all your booze So you kicked me out in the alley And you saw me On the six o'clock news You pretend it's alright But can't you see I'm uptight As I wandered outta the alley In my alcoholic state Throwin' empty bottles at the moon But I could see it was gettin' late Then I began to sob Began to long for that deadend job I could see You were not such a sweetheart But girl, you were such a heartthrob! Sergeant Kay, it's all up to you Don't you think I'm ready for you? Am I ready for you? Found a flat on the corner Tried to drown myself in the tub But then I got out into the world I watched you couch-dance At the club Tried to work my way back to you But you had found someone new Who would work for minimum wage Something I had refused to do You pretend it's alright But can't you see I'm uptight? Wish we could take this Back to where it began But now you're the talk of the streets And have a legion of fans But let's pretend it's alright Won't you withstand me tonight? Oh yeah yeah yeah!
13.

about

Eric Fifteen: vocal, guitar, keyboard
Joe Holland: Bass
Dan Greenwood: Drums
Monet Wong: Guitar

Written by Eric Fifteen

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released October 18, 2014

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Party of One Minneapolis, Minnesota

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